


Between Siblings

by Lady_Fenikkusu



Series: Grace Ryder [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst and Feels, Crying, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Not Beta Read, Protective Siblings, but not part of it, kinda relates to the Moments serise, needed to get this out of my mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 12:46:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12817842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Fenikkusu/pseuds/Lady_Fenikkusu
Summary: Ok.there will be more added to this now and then, some long parts some short, but don't expect much. I'm going through a hard time with my dad right now and despite the efforts and years of attempts to fix whatever issue we have, its not worked so this is the child of the emotions I have right now because of the whole mess.I need to get it out, its not healthy for me so I am using the one escape that has always helped me in the past to make myself feel better and keep myself focused.If you wish to comment please do just be aware I may not answer right away. Thank you all.





	1. Big little brother

Between Siblings. 

He swore, many times, that Alec Ryder did this just to mess with his sister's head and heart around. 

One more promise to be there for her when she needed him and then the promise was broken, one more chance she'd given him and then he blew it off and every time Grace dared to open up and try to rebuild the broken bridge to their father, Alec did something that just ripped the poor girl's heart out and left her there, unable to focus or even move for hours. It was painful to see happen and it was beyond heart breaking to hear his twin sister trying and failing to keep the tears at bay when her brother came to pick her up from another heart breaking let down. 

This time had been too much however, the raw loss of their mother still too new, too open and bleeding to brace for the let down and Grace had, for the first time in her life, turned on Alec and screamed at him in utter fury, stunning the former N7 into silence and paralyzing him with the sheer amount of anger she'd unleashed and all of it came out, Damien had been unable to stop it, the forgotten gifts and cards, the lacking presence, the distance and the lies and the broken promises and ruined plans to spend time together that had never happened and the hallow empty promise that it would end and never happen again. It came out raw, heated and Damien swore he'd seen the pieces of his sister's heart cracking with each painful reminder of how many times their father had not been there. 

When all was said and done and no more words could come, Grace had left the café they'd met at and Damian had raced after her, reaching their shared apartment and that was how they ended up as they were now, Damian sat on the sofa, his huge muscular arms wrapped tightly around his sister's shaking form as she sat in his lap, weeping like a child. 

"I can't keep doing this Damian," She sobbed, clutching his shoulders so tight she bruised the skin as he held her, slowly rocking back and forth as his sister cried her broken heart out, yet again let down by their father. "I'm sick of it all... All the times he says sorry and then he does it again! I can't... I just can't... I can't take it anymore!!" 

"I know, Grace. I know." He soothed softly, gentle hands rubbing her shoulders and back as she cried harder, "I know." 

"Why?! Why can't he just change!? Why can't he understand?! What does it take!?" For him to just once, just ONCE see how much he hurts me when he does this!? Why?!" 

'Because he's always been that way and just like mum, you can't shut him out of your life like I have because you love him, despite it all, you love him, it's always been that one reason that keeps you hooked on the hope he'll change, the same reason he keeps promising and promising things will change but they never do.' Damian wanted to say, he'd said it so many times before it was like reciting an old script but he knew if he did say it, it would only make his sister cry more because he knew, just as she did that it was true. 

Alec's days as a father ended for Damian when he didn't show up for their thirteenth birthday party on time and had forgotten to bring a card or gift for either of them. Grace forgave the lack of card and gift and lateness easily and hugged Alec tightly with their mother while Damian had promised he would never forgive his father for the tears Grace had shed when he hadn't come home when he'd promised he would. 

It had been a downhill spiral since then. 

Birthdays, Christmases, promotions, graduations, Alec missed them all or forgot completely and each time, Grace cried over it and each time, Damian was there to hold her and sooth the tears away, to gently hold the broken shards of Grace's heart and help it heal, only to have to let go and back off as Alec came back and the cycle began again. 

It was a brutal and violent cycle and Damian didn't know how to break it or free his sister from it as he had so long ago. 

The tears eventually stopped and slowly, Grace began to drift off whining softly as her brother lifted her up and carried her to the bed, laying her down on the soft mattress, pulling the blanket up over her shoulders and tucking her in, softly cleaning her face with a damp cloth and humming a soft lullaby as she fought the embrace of sleep just a little longer. 

"I wish mum was here..." She whispered. 

"I know," He nodded, "If I could I’d bring her back Grace. I'd go back in time and find a cure for her sooner if I could. But we can't change it, and no matter how much I want to get rid of Alec and change the way our lives are, I can't." He sighed and laid beside his sister on the bed, letting her snuggle close to him for warmth and comfort as he had done for so many years. "Enough talking now. It's time to sleep." he said softly but firmly. 

She nodded, he felt it against his chest as she fisted his shirt, though soon, the grip laxed and he glanced down to see she had fallen into whatever dream land she found peace in, smiling and gently tucking her long fringe behind her ear as she slept. 

He would stay with her, no matter the number of times his omni tool binged, or the knock on the door, he would cover her ears when the knocking began pounding, keeping her safely lost in the dreams that held her protected until at last the pounding went away. 

Alec wouldn't make Grace cry again today, it was just too much for him to take, seeing Grace break down after the doctor told them their mother was gone was beyond soul destroying, and to see that sorrow worsened by the broken promise from Alec once again was beyond his limits. 

If it happened again, Damian would be locked up for the murder of his own Father. 

He would stay with her, her twin brother, her shield, her rock and her comfort for as long as he could, he may have been the younger twin, but even growing up, he had always been assumed the oldest because he was bigger and always lead the way when the two were together. 

Few people knew that they were discordant twins, with Grace being the smaller of them both at her birth, but with the health care so well educated in children wards being so high and well trained, they had both been lucky enough to survive with only a few minor infections and weekly check-ups as children until things had cleared up and they were safely allowed to go out into space for the first time. 

He'd promised their mother he would always keep her safe. 

'Nothing will ever hurt Grace.' He'd sworn innocently at the age of seven, while Grace sat in Alec's lap as the doctor carefully cleaned and bandaged her bleeding leg after she'd been pushed over by an older boy at school, 'No one will ever make her cry, and anyone who does will be made to say sorry.' He'd assured standing tall and proud in front of his mother, like his father did when he talked to a lady. 

He sighed, those younger days were the few fond memories Damian held onto of his father, the days when the mere mention of someone hurting his children had brought Alec racing out of whatever office he was in and charging to get home and protect his family, days when Grace could sit on the steps outside the apartment and their father would come home and heave her up onto his shoulder and carry her inside, days when he got a gentle ruffle of the hair and a lightly bump to the chin before being grabbed up in a tight hug with his sister. 

All though their childhood, he had been there to protect her when their father wasn't, the literal big brother to protect her from the scary Batarian pirates and fight play games with their friends, slowly growing from the big giant kid with a kind heart and gentle touch into a muscular young man with the strength to beat a Turian in hand to hand combat and spar with a Krogan or three now and then while Grace, once a dainty, fragile looking freckle faced book worm had become a tall, naturally curved young woman and she was chased by every man she met. 

Thankfully, having a little brother who stood taller than the Turian Councillor and had muscles to shame a body builder was usually enough to chase the horny loons away, but Damian knew early on his sister was a looker and he was always there to chase the unwanted attention away while being the usual annoying baby brother when she did bring a boy home to meet the family. 

Those days, Damian sighed and let his eyes close as he wrapped an arm around his sister and willed himself to sleep, those days were gone now and ahead of them, nothing but uncertainty and fear.


	2. One last chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just more of it, might make it into a whole story or it might just stay short/long snippets depending on how the mood takes me.

Cora Harper was everything Grace knew her father had hoped she would one day be. 

She sang Alec's praises like a love-struck student. Eating up his orders like they were god's gift. 

It became annoying within the first ten minutes of meeting her, and even more insufferable as they prepared to leave to Andromeda and it was the cause of many of Grace's 'tantrums' as Cora dubbed them, as Grace more often than not left the room with her jaw set, fists clenched and looking ready to slaughter anyone who asked her anything. 

Damian had been the one to set Cora straight after he caught her talking to Liam and the rest of Alec's team mates about the way Grace behaved being a bad look for the team but neither Cora or Grace ever came to any kind of agreement to be friends in any sense of the word, they worked together and when not working they ignored each other. Liam was ok. A little too chatty but ok, though Grace mostly ignored him and the others, refusing to acknowledge Alec as her father as Damian had taken to doing years ago. 

It seemed that Alec had pushed too far and now like Damian, Grace didn't speak to him outside of her job as part of the Pathfinder Team and didn't call him 'Dad' or 'Father' anymore. 

He knew it hurt her but Damian knew that in time, it would stop hurting and the ache would fade away. 

"Ryders, a word before you go?" Alec asked as he dismissed the other team mates to go for their pre cryo-pod check-ups, seeing Damian shake his head with a deep sigh and Grace wring her hands the same way Ellen use to do when she was unsure. 

"I know neither of you want to hear what I am going to say, but please, let me say it now before we leave." He said, "Think of me what you want after that." 

"So talk." Damian said, arms folded over his chest while Grace swayed slightly from side to side, unable to decide whether she should sit down or not. 

"I know I wasn't there when you needed me as you got older, I know I messed up as a father so many times and I know I have hurt you both so much," Alec sighed. "But despite it all, I wanted you both to know I love you both." 

"You got a damn funny way of showing it." Damian said shaking his head. "Save your speeches for the crowd pleasing and the cameras Alec, we don't need to hear them." And with that said, Damian left the room and Grace, despite the sad look back to her father followed her brother. 

 

"Could have told you that was going to happen old friend." 

"I had to try, Harry." 

Grace pretended to be sleeping as she heard her father and Harry Carlyle spoke quietly a few bunks over, clutching the blanket over her body as she lay still, breathing softly as she mimicked sleep, a trick she knew Damian could see through, but since Alec hadn't been around she doubted he would know. 

"Given how poorly things have been between the three of you since Ellen passed, you must have known that your attempts to say sorry wouldn't go well," Harry stated calmly. "You can't beat yourself up over this forever." 

"How can I not? All the years they needed me and I wasn't there, and when I do show up, I can't do what I always promised I would do and give them what makes them happy." Alec sighed, "I started work on Sam to keep Ellen alive. To save her, not just for me but for them." 

"And in making Sam you have given millions of us a new start and a new life to look forwards too, isn't that what Ellen wanted for them when they were little ones? Running around with toy blasters and pretending to be brave space warriors?" The doctor asked and Alec sighed again before they fell silent. 

"Ellen wouldn't want the three of you fighting, and while I know Damian is going to make this one hell of a trip for you, you might still have a chance to make some amends with Grace." Harry said after a while, and Grace felt her eyes sting with tears at the realization that Harry knew her better than her own father did... 

"How do I prove to her it will be different this time after so many times of getting it wrong? Harry I can't even speak to her without seeing the pain in her eyes. She's so much like her mother that way... God help me, I feel like a fool." Alec sighed heavily. "Give me a war zone and I can tell you how to win it, put me on the front lines of a battlefield I'll fight to the death, but give me my children to face and I can't even get my words out or my intentioned clear." 

"No one ever said being a father was easy Alec." Harry said, "But this adventure of ours is meant to be all about fresh new starts, maybe you'll get your chance to make it right when we wake up?" 

"Maybe." Alec nodded and Grace felt a gentle hand, Alec's hand, gently re-tuck the blanket over her body and gently stroke her hair, the way he had when she was just a little girl. "And if not... I can at least say I brought them on the biggest adventure of their lives." 

"That you can." Harry smiled, "Good night Alec." 

"Good night Harry." 

 

"You're going to give him a chance." It wasn't a question. 

"He is trying to make this right Damian. Please don't be mad." She pleaded as they prepare for their long sleep, dressed in the Initiative issued white and blue joggers and long-sleeved white and blue shirt. 

"I'm not mad. I just know he's gonna hurt you again." Damian said gently pulling her into a hug as her shoulders sagged down in defeat. "I'm sorry sis, but that's just the way it is with him." 

"Maybe in Andromeda it will be different?" She dared to say. 

Damian sighed heavily. "Ok, he gets one chance in Andromeda, but I swear, if he hurts you again, I will not give him any more. Deal?" 

"Deal." Grace smiled and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Damian." 

"Don't thank me yet. We aren't there." He said and then smiled and lightly draped his jacket over her shoulders. "I know how cold you get in winter this should help keep the cold away while you sleep." He said knowing that the jacket was too big for Grace but she loved to steal it when she got cold. 

He blinked as a thin chain was looped over his neck and something clicked against his dog tags, a homemade charm necklace with small jewels and stones. "Grace." 

"Protection from bad things happening." Grace smiled. "Now we both have one." She added showing him the matching necklace around her own neck. 

He smiled and nodded and after placing a photo of their mother in their pods with them and taking the last does of their preparation medications, Damian watched Harry and Lexi carefully typed and press in the codes and commands for their pods. 

"Ready?" Harry asked. 

"As we'll ever be." Damian nodded laying down in his pod while Grace lay down in her own, relaxing into the padding as the lid on the pod came down and covered her body in a warm blueish light. 

"See you in Andromeda, little brother." 

"See you in Andromeda, big sister."


	3. Welcome to Andromeda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this will be the into part to my ME A Story, using Grace and Damien Ryder. 
> 
> Thank you to those who have read this so far and think you for those who were there to help me get through the bad time that drove me to type this up.

#3

"Grace?"

"I don't want to talk about it, I don't need therapy."

"I wasn't going to say that." Harry said with a small smile, "I think you might need this more than Damian right now," he explained handing Grace a neatly folded scarf.

She smiled and easily wrapped the length of worn out but still warm cloth around her neck, relaxing as the scent of her brother aftershave reached her nose. "You know me too well." She said.

"Maybe," Harry chuckled, "I've asked Lexi to keep me updated on Damian while we are away, if there is any chance, I will tell you immediately."

"Thank you, Harry." She nodded smiling lightly as she tucked the scarf under her around and fastened her helmet in place as she made to board the second shuttle away from her father.

"Don't you wanna stay with your father?" Cora asked.

"Fuck off Cora." Grace hissed.

"Harper. Get in the shuttle." Alec's voice cut through the air like a whip, sharp and swift and Grace took small comfort in how his sharp tone snapped Cora's shoulder up and made her back straighten so rapidly she winced. 

"Yes sir."

"Ryder a moment?" He asked before she could vanish into the shuttle. "I heard what happened to Damian, are you sure you're alright?"

"I'll be better when he wakes up." She admitted. "Anything else?" She asked wanting to cut this short before she did something stupid or embarrassing.

"Just remember he's strong and a fighter and when he wakes up, you can tell him how you did all the hard work for him." Alec said and for just a moment, Grace saw that small flash of a smile she'd missed seeing so often as a child before it was gone. "Let's go." 

 

When it was all over and the doors to the Pathfinder’s Quarters aboard the Tempest slid shut, Grace gave a shaky breath and sank to the floor, clutching Damian’s jacket around herself as she tried to calm her now racing mind and avoid a panic attack.

Pathfinder. After all that had happened, the ship’s run in with eth cloud of who knows what, Habit-7’s freaky weather and the attacks from the locals, then watching her father do whatever he did to the structure they found and then… 

No. No she wouldn’t cry, she wasn’t a child anymore. She couldn’t cry now! She had a job to do, a duty! She couldn’t cry! Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out…

“Sam?”

“Yes Ryder?” The voice asked from within her head.

“Can you lock and soundproof this room?” She asked as the tears blurred her vision.

“I can.” Sam assured.

“Do it please.” She requested as her voice shook and after hearing the lock and gentle hum of sound proofing, the flood gates opened at last and all Grace could do was cutch her brother’s jacket around herself as she cried into her arms.

It had been a hell, shooting on all sides and waiting for Alec to hack the door, then standing there and watching him and Sam ‘speak’ with whatever it was they found inside, then from within the structure came the almighty blast that had knocked her and Alec off the platform that had been on.

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even get up past her hands and knees, struggling to find her way, everything hurt, everything was burning with pain making every shift agony. Then he was there, he lifted her face with his hands and saw the shattered helmet and without hesitation he removed it and placed his own over her head, even as she’d clutched his arms, trying to stop him.

He had no spare helmet. He would die without his helmet. He’d die trying to save her from whatever injury she’d sustained from the fall. She SHOULD be dead! But he’d taken her place, he’d given her the chance to live while his own life slipped away.

Sam was silent through it all, but she knew he was there, she could feel his presence, a gentle pressure that was neither uncomfortable or unwelcome, quietly waiting and keeping a close eye on the time and the comms to alert her should anyone need her attention in regard to her brother.

She didn’t know how long it had been, but it felt much longer that two hours when Sam’s voice came to her again, gentle and calm. “I have been asked by Captain Dunn to inform you we are approaching the Nexus station Ryder. Please prepare yourself to board the station with Cora and Liam.” 

“Thank you, Sam.” She wheezed, slowly getting up and heading to the kitchenet to wash her face and retie her hair back out of her face, wrapping Damian’s scarf around her neck as she checked her reflection in the surface of the microwave. “Sam…?”

“Yes Ryder?”

“How do I do this?” She asked, “How do I fill his shoes? I don’t even know how to do what he did back there… How do I make this right?”

“I’m sorry Ryder, I am not aware of any answer to that question that I can give. You and Alec were separate people, different in every way yet the same in some. I was bound to Alec and learned from him, but now I am bound to you and can only help you translate the devices language into a readable form. I can not tell you how to act or respond to the loss you have suffered or the stress of the situation, that is not my purpose.”

“But I don’t know what to do.” Grace said, “I’m not a leader Sam, Damian was always in charge, not me. This is all wrong, Cora was meant to be his replacement not me!”

“Your father believed you would adapt to this role. Perhaps in time, you will find a way to lead in your own way as he did.”

Grace sighed shakily. “Why me Sam, why not Cora like it was meant to be?”

“I do not know the answer to that question.” Sam repeated. “However, if in our time together I am able to find an answer I shall give it.”

Grace smiled a little, “Thank you Sam.”

 

It didn’t get any better when they reached the Nexus. Addison was so stuck up she had made Cora look like a polite woman, stating that Ryder would have a lot to prove before Addison saw her as anything but a mistake on Alec’s choice of Pathfinder. Tann so lost in his own mistakes he had blinded himself to thinking it was easy to fix this mess if everyone just listened to him. Grace had left Addison with a bruised ego and Tann with a reason to never try using the ‘I am in charge’ tone with her again. 

Kandros and Kesh at least had some idea how harsh it had been for her so far, but they couldn’t give her much aside from words and comforting pats on the shoulder, though Kesh had offered her a place to take a minute and collect herself if ever she needed it and explained why she was the only Krogan on the station.

“Why can’t people think about what the fuck they are doing before they fuck it up?” Grace sighed.

“I doubt you could have helped. It was never going to be easy for Krogan to start a new life anywhere when a Salarian was in a place of power. Add that to the uprising mess and it was a clear sign of just how little things really changed while we slept.”

“Still, its not fair. Your people stopped the Universe being over run years before I was born and the way the Council repays you is to use a sickness that kills children on you.” Grace shook her head. “No one deserves that.”

Kesh smiled softly. “Thank you, Ryder. Not many would admit to sympathizing with Krogan.”

“Why should I care what everyone else thinks of my views? I’m the one whose gonna be pulling their asses out of this inferno they’ve let build up.” Grace said, “I’d rather pull the people who are gonna help me and offer me advice and solutions to problems rather than giving me excuses and complaining about how things aren’t going their way.”

Kesh laughed. “I think you and I are going to get along just fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> Discordant Twins; in the most basic terms it means twins who were born together, but one is big and the other small. read more about it here -> https://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/discordant+twins


End file.
